Last stretch!

We made our way very very quickly through El Salvador and Honduras. After being chased so violently from a boarder hound that nolan thought we were being hijacked and punched it trying to make an equally as dangerous maneuver around a semi, we went to exit Guatemala and two kids in the official office tried to get us to pay them 25$ to leave. A guy next to us shook his finger at us, and said you don't pay anything here, so we bickered with them and they were taken aback. She finally gave the money back and the kid said we had to pay double entering next time.... Yeah okay kid, whatever you say.
Ended up driving at night in El Salvador which was so stupid, and finally found a cheap horrid hotel after being solicited by a hooker at the trucker stop, and being turned away at all of the semi normal hotels in San Miguel. I was at the point of tears for that one. El Salvador is horrible, unless you are surfing, but apparently even then it is dangerous. We met an Aussie that was robbed with five other guys on the beach. The famous gang there was waiting for them on the beach with some serious weapons. The whole country was filthy and chaotic. They had big malls and fast food, and the roads were bad.
Honduras was super mellow, contrary to what everyone told us. There were a lot of check points, but we had our car set up with everything we heard we needed, Caution cones, reflective tape and a fire extinguisher. The boarder to Nicaragua was mellow as well, but we didn't have money for the entrance fee, and scrounged for every last penny in the car. Unfortunately we had it detailed in Mexico and they wiped us out of loose change, but somehow we magically pulled 36$ out of no where and got in! We would have had to drive halfway into Honduras again for an ATM. At one point Nolan was trying to sell his watch to all the hustlers. We ended up not getting the insurance for Nic, because we didn't have the money, and every time we got pulled over, which was a ridiculous amount, they asked for it. We gave one guy our Mexican insurance and he didn't know the difference, and We played stupid the other times, and got away with it. they are very insistent on getting your license in had here. Nolan gave the guy a photocopy and told them his license was stolen from a Nicaraguan and they let it slide, which most definitely is why we payed nothing to any of them. We are so down with the game now. It is easy, and if you don't want to give them money, than don't. Just make up excuses why you cant and you won't.
One time we were written up for an infraction and we told the guy our car was clean of all money, so he said the other cop would follow us to the ATM. Nolan told him we don't have a card with us but we did have two rubber I Love Boobies bracelets for him! He took them and sent us on our way but first gave Nolan a genuine hand shake. Nicaragua was police check hell.
We pulled into Leon at sunset. There were people in the streets partying. On buses at the gas stations. It is for the elections that were coming up. We
Were later told that they are very important elections, and one of the guys going into office was bribing everyone and paying for the parties, but apparently he is bad news. We need to look more into it, cause if the elections go south we've been told Nicaragua is going to be a very scary place to be in. We had the feeling it was already.
On our day of exit some older crazy person threw a massive rock at our car. Missed, but I would have done some serious damage.
We got to the Costa Rican border, and it was legit, and now with absolutely no expectations we are awaiting our new life! So close it hurts!

Location:Driving south.

Glorious rooftops and ruins.

While I am writing this we are dodging pot holes and semi's in Nicaragua, the rains have been so bad that the roads are falling away in spots, while the houses are in the water on either side. There are beautiful white cranes hanging with their flocks and cows in the prairies, and the sun is threateningly low for 3:22 pm. We have been in four countries in two days.
We left Antigua on Wednesday morning and made a long treck down, but this post isn't about that treck, oh no. This is devoted entirely to my new favorite place on Earth.
We rolled on into Antigua in the afternoon and it took us a while to get situated. We toured four hostels and finally settled on Hostel (getting a bit picky these days) we threw our stuff in the room and went out on the town.
Driving in you come down a hill that gives you a great arial view of the town before you are shuffled down into the cobblestone streets with colorful old buildings on either. It is very bumpy and colorful. Every building has old wooden and cast iron doors. We started to pass random ruins that the city is still built around. Many of the ruins have been turned into gardens. This place is absolutely magical. We jump into a tuk tuk and very shakily made it to the Centro park. The park has a beautiful fuente in the middle. To the north, is a very impressive white Spanish style Iglesia. We found a nearby restaurant, that had what looked like original beams in the ceiling, that were hand carved. It had stucco white walls, rusted chandeliers and dimly lit by candles. The kind of place that gives me an anxiety attack to even think of bringing Stella to. Stella fell asleep in the booth and Nolan and I had a great unexpected date.
It is impossible not to be totally entranced by Antigua. You could swear you were in a small village in Spain, only surrounded by pure Maya decedents, and nearby volcano that erupts every 5 minutes. Oh yes, and the shopping! We are coming back to stay, or maybe retire here. Better get on that...
Lee lived here when Mark came down to meet her and stay for a while. I understand now why they were engaged so quickly. This place is seriously romantic. Nolan and I were very close to tying the knot there. Maybe someday.

Location:Antigua

I swear, it's a disease

What the fuck are we doing!

We are currently driving south. Yes, south.

 We drove back into Mexico at a boarder, further west this time, and it was mellow. We questioned every mile. We then drove 3 hours to Arriaga for the night, still questioning what the hell we were doing. Awoke at dawn to drive another 450 miles north, got lost twice, backtracked once because we changed our minds, and then kept heading North. We found a crap hotel, didn’t speak much, and melancholy was setting in. We were now 10 hours from the boarder to Guatemala, heading home. Mission NOT completed. We are just thinking what failures we are. First PUPU’s, now this.

 We had jobs, a house and a great winter on the beach set up for us, but we are heading to the snow. Nolan is losing it just as much as me. This is the hardest decision We have ever made. We are literally driving back and forth across Mexico not knowing which way we should go. Nolan and I ask Stella 20 times what she wants to do. This is purgatory hell! 

We know what to do. The fact we keep questioning and questioning and questioning it, says it all. It is a $400 loss and we are feeling crazy in the head, but we set off, south bound yet again and back into adventure mode. Now we just have to backtrack seven hours of stupidity, and hopefully by the time we hit Antigua we will feel better; rookie maneuver #154 of this trip.

Guatemala hell!

We made it to the boarder of Guatemala after a serious detour, because of another down Puente (bridge). A sweet kid on a motorcycle took us as far as he could and then drew us a map. We pulled into the boarder and all the hounds, guys telling you where to go for some money, came charging. Nolan was very adamant on not taking their help, and we didn’t need it in Mexico. Everything was easy except for the unexpected exit fee of $25 pp. As we loaded into the car to cross the bridge into Guatemala we saw 50 plus guys waiting for us. It was insane!!! We had our car swarmed. Everyone telling us to stop here, go there, don’t go there. I was driving and starting to freak out and Nolan’s yelling at me to keep going. We see the official boarder and a guy says that we can’t go through until we have the sticker, we ask where to go and he stares blankly at us then looks at one of the hounds trying to tell us directions. Finally Nolan looks at me and says, “ I am going to just pay this guy a few bucks to help us, to get us out of here.” So we follow this guy into a parking lot, immigration and to get copies. 5 other guys are following us as well and Nolan and I are telling them to stop, we don’t have money for them. From the copy place he leads us to this office across the street from the actual boarder place and he tells us to give some new guy all the copies and our docs. He will process it and then we can get in our car and leave. So we do it, and we f-ed up big time right there. Now he has our docs and is telling us it is going to be $180 to cross. We are freaking out saying no, give us our papers back where the hell is the official office!?

He keeps saying this is the office and that price includes fumigation of the car, tourist cards, and parking.

No, no, no! Where is the official office! He keeps saying this is it, and we have to pay.  I think it was $30Q for the car and 10Q pp for tourist cards, but we got all confused and ended up paying $100 US. We don’t sort that out in our heads for another ten minutes and by that time the guy is gone.

Nolan looks at me and says he’s going to go look for him.

I have no clue what to think right now. Stella and I are in this crappy office surrounded by men just staring at us. Stella is busy working on a bag of Cheetos, and I am trying not to cry.

 Nolan goes looking for him, and when he finds him starts yelling at him to give it all back, and the guy lowers his voice and says, “Hey man chill out, your in Guatemala.”

 So Nolan is totally freaked out. I am losing it in the office just getting the stare down from these other guys. And we finally just say screw it, lets get out of here. Which is exactly what they wanted. We get to our car and are charged more for the parking. And to top it off the hound wants us to tip him for allowing him to totally rip us off. So to make sure we don’t get stabbed or shot at on our way out of this hellhole, we give him five bucks and drive away feeling totally shamed and raped.

Guatemala is different; instantly different. The roads are terrible, there are people every 5 blocks trying to sell you watered down gas, there was a search party on the side of the road looking for something in the grass and the whole town came to see blocking the road. People selling stuff on the roads are aggressive and trying to make you pull over by standing in your way. You just have to not make eye contact and play chicken. At least we know we aren’t going to lose.

The gas is way more expensive here and we are on empty so we stop at the nearest station and tell the kid to fill it. He pumps 207q and stops (thankfully Nolan saw how much). We say keep going and fill it, so he pumps another 309q and charges us 760q. Nolan says, I don’t think so and grabs the calculator, showing them how much it cost. The kids knew they where ripping us off and said they would give us back what they owed in cash. He hands us the cash and we drive away, and as I am telling Nolan how proud I am of him for catching it, he realizes they shorted us change. Aggressive little shit heads!!!! I can’t help but to take it personally cause they are taking money that is allowing us to keep going, and we are on such a tight budget that we can’t afford to be the stupid gringos. Not to mention that it is hard on the ego to be such a stupid gringo.

Another Puente down and another detour, a policeman tells us what detour to take and that it should take us 2-3 hours. Wrong.

5 hours later, suns going down, we are starving and stressed and thoroughly bitchy. It is pissing rain and sections of the single lane, two-way road have failed, falling down the mountain that we are switch backing. I am maneuvering around landslides and boulders that have blocked half the road crying and cussing loudly in my head, having total panic attacks and hating all of Central America, while Nolan is trying to distract Stella with photos on the Iphone. Lake Atitlan, our destination, is at 3,500 ft. elevation and is in the running to be on the new 7 wonders of the world list. What a fucking wonder that people would ever want to come here!

We pull into Panajachel in the pitch black and manage to find a Hotel. Went downstairs and got some delicious micro waved food and some drinks, and we were ALIVE. We were alive and we were gitty.

The next morning we awoke to pure magnificence. The clouds cleared enough to see the massive lake, surrounded by three enormous volcanoes, waterfalls and cascading cliffs. The women are short and covered in the most amazing textiles. We were later told that they wear different colors depending on the tribe and the area on the lake they come from. Later we went to find the water taxi that would take us to Santa Cruz, where we had read there was a hippie style hostel. Life was looking good again and we were excited to see the lake from a boat. Asking where anything is the number one way to get ripped off here. Everyone is looking to take your money. We walked back and forth for hours trying to figure out where the boat was. The boat drivers tell you to you have to take a separate boat, and everyone tells you a different price. We were so fed up that when we finally found the boat we walked right past this local that was telling us we had to pay 20q pp for a private boat cause the public boats were for the locals only. We got on the public boat and he followed me to the window telling me I was to pay him now. No we got it, thanks! We never know what is right, or real here. No one will tell you the truth, except for the occasional sweet old man or the foreigners who live here. So not knowing if we were in the wrong we held our ground. The boat left and we made it to Santa Cruz, paying the local rate.

We stayed at La Iguana. It is pricey for us, but cute, and the family who owns the place has been there since the 90’s helping the community build houses, stoves and biodegrading toilettes. They are also helping the villages carbon foot print. Really good people doing good things for this world. 

I think the woman couldn’t take to us, cause we were pouring out our horror stories of Guatemala to them, and I'm sure she thought we were ridiculous. She told us that it was crazy that we were driving, and we should stay put until the rain passes, because a lot of the main roads and puente’s were washed away. Just so happens that the next morning the sun came out, and we were ready to be back in Mexico, and then the States. Feeling totally venerable and fearing the road conditions south we talked ourselves into going north again. Sorry Martin and Sarah, we can’t do this anymore, and we’re ready for the comforts of home.

Besides al of our mishaps and BS Guatemala is absolutely stunning, and if the senery wasn't enough the people are straight from the Maya and the textiles are unbelievable! Shopping system overload.

 This woman, Maria has two gold stars on her teeth. She was so sweeeeet!

 Sorry Sailor, Stella has a new man, and he is Italian.

Thank you, Lucas.

 Cheese nuggets

 La Iguana, Santa Cruz

 Car shot of Lago de Atitlan.

 Across the boarder, back in Mexico.

These were feeling a bit left out. Monte Alban!!!!

And you thought your mom was crafty...

Bonito Juarez

The thing you learn, very quickly here, is that no one knows distance. They say 20 minutes and that usually means an hour. They say it’s up the road, and that means, today, switchback up 3,000 feet on a dirt road. By the end of the drive up there, I was rallying, white knuckled and exhausted. When we reached our destination, as Tom Tom would say, the wind was blowing like crazy and nothing was moving outside of the houses but the chimney smoke. We found the guy, and a cabin. It was so stinking cute, but seriously cold. The guy brought us some firewood later, and made the most impressive fire. It put most mountain men I know to shame. Unfortunately, when it began to rain outside the smoke stated pouring into the cabin and we had to open the windows. Defeated the fire all together. We woke early again and headed out.